I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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