I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
