She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
