I don't think brook has ever known best
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
