His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
