my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
