There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
