my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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