What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Bring me that man meat
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
