He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
