Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize