but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
