i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
