its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
