This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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