apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize