I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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