i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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