What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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