What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
