What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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