Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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