All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
