is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
