hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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