East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
