You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Are my feet made of real feet?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The power of my boobs compel you
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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