am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
