so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
