i need an iv and a liver transplant
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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