East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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