giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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