You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
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Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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