you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
