I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
