My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
