I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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