So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize