He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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