I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
