operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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