You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
