dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
