Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
