I hate all girls vehemently.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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