fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
