He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
