so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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