He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
