i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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