All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
