Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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