at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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