Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
