I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
