okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
