Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
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Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
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THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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